Tutu (Hawaiian for Grandmother) is Turning 90!

I am a hapa haole. (I put a photo album online for my Tutu here.)

That means that I am half Hawaiian and half Haole (white or caucasion). The Haole half is mostly Irish (Thornton is the family surname). The Hawaiian half is mostly pure Hawaiian (Aki is the family surname); there is a little Chinese and Japanese somewhere in the family lineage. The story would be pretty simple if that was all there is to it, but there's more and it gets a little confusing.

Suffice it to say that my Hawaiian grandmother (called "Tutu" in Hawaiian) is turning 90 this month (Feb. 2008). I've only met her twice in my life in the time span of two years (1993 - my senior year in college, and 1994, the honeymoon trip after getting married). In my entire life I've spent probably about 20-30 hours with this woman. It was enough for me to know that she is a woman anyone would be proud to have as a grandmother.

Tutu raised 12 children. Hawaiians have big families. Her husband, my grandfather died a long time ago, I think before I was born. She had to raise these kids the best that she could, while working full-time as the hostess at an authentic Hawaiian restaurant. In her 90 years she's had to face a lot of pain, sorrow, suffering and loss. She's also seen her fair share of joy, love, goodness and peace as well.

Tutu is a hard-working woman, who doesn't feel sorry for herself for having to raise 12 children as a working mother (during a time period when being a working mother was not something society thought well of). I think she did a pretty good job. Her kids have all turned out all right by me. She did the best she could to teach them right from wrong; to work hard; to never feel sorry for yourself, but instead to always rise above your circumstances and be the best you can be. This is the most any parent can hope to accomplish with her children. She has lived to see grandchildren and great-grandchildren (are there any great-great-grandchildren, Tutu?).

Tutu is originally from the island of Niihau (the privately owned Hawaiian island). She was raised during a time period where being Hawaiian was thought of as being a lesser human being; something to be ashamed of instead of proud. I don't think she ever believed that for one moment, but she did name her children with mostly traditional Haole, Christian names (such as Stephen or Theresa). She speaks Hawaiian fluently, but didn't really push it on to her children. (Though her grandchildren may wish that they were raised to speak their native tongue - I do!)

I was not raised with my Hawaiian family (nor my Irish family). I was adopted at birth; lived in Hawaii until 5, then raised in the mainland. I wish I could go back in time and spend those years with them, so that I might know them all quite a bit better - especially my mother and grandmother. But if I've learned one thing from Tutu it is this: be thankful for what you have and where you are - never look back with regret, but look forward with hope and expectation.

Tutu - happy 90th birthday in the beautiful island paradise of Hawaii! - from your long-lost hapa grandson, Richard. My family and I love you!

Cognitive Behavioral Psychology and Chocolate

As I'm writing, this is Christmas day 2007, and I've totally blown my dietary goals/plans, joining the company of hundreds of millions of others who have done the same thing as me: "pig out!"  If you know me at all, you know I believe cognitive/behavioral psychology is the only school of psychological thought which offers us humans a framework for understanding our behaviors and for making positive changes to our lives.  Well, as it turns out, there's a big problem for me when it comes to cognitive behavioral psychology and chocolate: it's my own darn fault when I eat too much of it!

What?!  Thanks a lot you geniuses of modern psychology!  You mean I can't blame the big corporations for my dietary woes?  I think Ghirardelli, Godiva or Hershey is to blame!  I think I might have a sizable lawsuit on my hands, if I can only find a competent lawyer to represent me.  Who was the lawyer for the lady that successfully sued McDonald's because herv coffee was hot?  Does anyone have her contact information?  How can I contact Erin Brockovich (my emails to her website are not returned in a timely manner: two hours is more than enough time to reply - I think she's ignoring me)?

To potential counselors - I've got a strategy: if we can't beat these companies, go bigger!  Perhaps Ghirardelli is just a pawn in a much bigger game here.  Perhaps, Macy's and Wal-Mart are the real culprits!  Perhaps PhillipMorris is the company pulling all the strings!  Yeah - that's got to be it!  Maybe this is even larger than I first suspected: it's a government conspiracy!  Of course!  There must be several of the world's most powerful nations such as Russia, China and Djibouti (I just like the way that one is spelled) in cahoots on this one.  Search your hearts - you know its true!

I may not have a lot of facts or research to back me on this, but I do have this: I feel much fatter now than I did before I was forced to overeat; victimized by the big chocolate corporations and Djibouti.  I learned a lot from Steven Colbert about facts and truth: "I'm not a fan of facts. You see, the facts can change, but my opinion will never change, no matter what are the facts."  The facts may not reveal much, but if you go with your gut, you'll come to the same conclusion as me...

Lay off the sugary sweets, refined carbohydrates, caffeinated beverages and all-you-can-eat binges next Holiday season!